Things narcissists say reddit

Last UpdatedMarch 5, 2024

by

Examples: "But you… My mom is a narcissist with a martyr complex. Please read the community guidelines, and show respect and kindness to each other. The narcissist's drive to dominate is normalized and they must always prevail, or the whole brittle, weak family structure will crumble. No content about N-kids. I understand being trapped. What we have been through has made us who we are today. They think you're attacking them and trying to get them. I need help please read In fact, sometimes I meet people who reinforce all the bad things she would say about me and I wonder if I did the right thing by going no contact after all. They are all lies after they get you they go for the kill. Apr 3, 2024 · How to respond: Stay true to yourself and assert your own reality. I hope you can get them out of your life and find other people who treat you. But they can work quite hard for things that directly benefit them. You bothered to text him/her. You see, to your narcissist, the truth isn't really the truth. He had 4 Hoovers and broke me down each time. 9. Don’t Call Them a Narcissist Let me say I despise that man. 17 ) you’ve always got a problem 18 ) why do you have to get all pissy about it. No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. 13. 14. Because heyyy you are not aloud to have positive things. • 4 yr. Outright lying as to the nature of the scenario as well, in some cases gaslighting. kosherkomments. Whatever you want is fine with me. It's also resentment, it could have been different but you chose to treat me this way, they had no reason to be evil but they did it anyway. It was like I was talking to a wall. Basically, narcissists break you down in such a way that all of the good, natural, positive things about you are destroyed. putting ants in their pillowcase. It was abusive and it was codependent. That leaves a lot of mindspace to the singular interest manipulation tactics. But things are finally better. Dad did what he wanted when dealing with you. Communicate when upset. 20 ) you better wipe that look off your face before I do it. When you find out you are worth something. 17. Seek resolution. Prevents You from Relaxing. Hiding valuable objects from me, throwing away other peoples mail, snooping in my room when Im at work, severe paranoia that her phone was hacked, we were being followed Etc EXT. 19 ) you just look for something to gripe about. No thought involved or needed. I used to think narcissism had only one form. 6. "You seem really focused on the past. Bull%#**. She says the things she says simply because you're not her favorite, while her favorite actually gets fed lies as well. When I got to be maybe 15 or 16 I started to notice that, and I tried to make sure I didn't do the same thing my family did. When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. 12 votes, 11 comments. Have reciprocal relationships. Narcissists overtax their own children, expecting impossible things from them, so that the child can only fail. r/NarcissistFacts: Red flags of narcissism🚫Tips for healing🗒Support and validation for victims of narcissistic abuse💛All information from … Press J to jump to the feed. “You’re imagining things”. My wife opened my eyes when she handed me information about the different types of narcissism. There have been several "worst things" that have already been mentioned by other posters. Even as a teen I refused to stoop to her level. They just think the truth isn't important and you want to use it to hurt them. I just stayed silent for the most part and let her say all the horrible things. You were most important to him when he could brag about you. Typically, people who encounter covert 15 subscribers in the NarcissisticPeople community. Very much I broke down a few hours ago. I find out a year later he has been in contact with my sister smear campaigns and turning my family against me. The Positives Of Being Raised By A Narcissist. Take responsibility. " Best option is to set boundaries, let him walk all over them, then take the action you said you would when you set the boundaries. He only did things with you that he enjoyed. Realization. Some other gems: "No, you are the narc". You've made a great point with evidence. I just kept focused on the fact that one day I would be free. “You are just being too sensitive. ) Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. Good on you for not giving him the big reaction he wanted. They're just motivated by different things. They don't work for the good of the group. Jun 30, 2021 · Cultivate hope. Narcissists don't step into someone else's shoes very often. like an adult, and better. Yes, both my parents are vicious gossips. 10. 7. Dated one. But narcissism is more than just being an asshole. ”. Can’t you see I am doing something. When you leave them or get off the phone, you feel so good There's also another kind of narcissist that pretends to be the "Angel", whatever they say or do is correct and "for your own good" but they never actually consider if the children think the same, they assumes and makes decisions based on whatever they think/ want/ prefer. . They will purposefully do things to prevent you from doing something as simple as sleep. Took me a while to notice what I was doing, and how it is only damaging to myself now. Accept constructive criticism. Stuff like trying to please other people, not trusting my own judgement. But the one that used to get me was when she'd tell me that I was just like my father. No platitudes or generic motivational posts. So I think they can be born predisposed to it and then it comes out if the environment is right, in terms of trauma or overindulgence. So, likely what your narcissists do is constantly lay down little insults and gaslight you constantly until you are always mad around them but you think that it must be a problem with you. Here’s a guide based on some insightful advice about the four things you should never say to a narcissist. I have yet to have the energy, time, or wherewithal to try to find a more trauma/PTSD focused therapist, but part of that is because of how traumatized my last therapist Fast forward to the late 2010s, he is answering emails and calls from scammers because "it might be true". You made him or her feel like the special little bunny he or she’s grown up to believe he/she is. They can change, but it will never be worth helping them do so. Don't try to argue with them because they will just gaslight you and then you will gaslight yourself. My family had terrible things to say about everyone. "After all that I've done for you" "You disrespected me" "You brought this upon yourself/ you deserved this" "You are too sensitive/ you are a snowflake" This is a safe place for people who suffered, or are currently suffering from narcissistic abuse to seek support, learn, vent, discuss, document their abuse, and come together in their path towards healing. I don’t feel anything. I don’t need any help. Yep. There are certain things you should avoid saying to prevent escalating the situation or getting stuck in a loop. It's because they're afraid you're right. If it is something negative, it is also not alright because you are the one who complains or is angry or whatever emotions it may be, emotions are not allowed. Aug 13, 2021 · Here are 15 phrases narcissists say to confuse you and what they really mean: 1. They will put you through hell, even if they don't mean to (but they do). “You have such a bad Sep 21, 2022 · It’s probably too hard for you. You can’t be in the family system, unless you are internalizing the narcissistic family system narrative as who you are and where you are at a profound level. filling their house with ants. I used to call this the general "cycle of miscommunication" (putting it mildly), when really I knew my narc was purposefully misinterpreting every convo I had with him. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts Intentionally "Misinterpreting" Things You Say. Friendly-Button-1484. N. They are childish to the extreme. I would love to create a thread containing all the best phrases/statements/questions to use against a narcissist to get them to stop/lose their mind/change topics. In the real world people always have the option to say 'no' to favors and whatnot -- it's only in Narcland that compliance is assumed and expected by default. Aug 18, 2023 · Narcissists all follow the same patterns — here are some of the most common phrases they use to manipulate you. Traumatic things would happen and hours or days later she would say they didn't happen and call me "too sensitive". when you draw a line of honey from the ants outside to their bed. Fuck yeah, you know that killed him inside. Please refrain from posting "uplifting" threads. Some children of narcissists figure out that the only way to get along in this world is to do as their parent does and derive their self-worth from production, performance and achievement. "Your behavior is typical of a narc" (usually when he is in full on narc rage/temper tantrum and I am sitting silently, waiting for it to end) "You're crazy". Unfortunately you've probably been so immersed in Narc influence that, on some level, you feel like you don't have that inherent right anymore. 4. A relaxed subreddit for "starter pack" posts. Act like they are the lead character in all things in life. Narcissistic behaviors such as Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. 24K subscribers in the starterpack community. By confidently standing your ground, you are refusing to be manipulated. Mar 15, 2022 · By saying this, they try to tear you down to make themselves feel better. You have to see how he used your insecurities against you and weaponized love, sex, affirmation, everything. 149K subscribers in the NarcissisticAbuse community. From here. So the narcissist shouldn’t put the blame on you. So all the nice things they say or give are all part of a bigger plan. 5. She is not diagnosed or anything. Being called “needy” invalidates your feelings and using the word “everyone” can cause you to feel isolated. If they're a covert or more introverted narcissist, expect a lot of passive agressive meta-communication. The word you used- surreal- just about sums up living with my mom. Our society only values people if society gets something in return for that person living. Still healing from… Along with : "I would be president by now if it wasn't for you". If the child then fails he is despised for it. 2. There are times when I tell people I am no contact with her and I get weird looks or reactions. Even went to far as to say he’s been to therapy and been verified he wasn’t a narcissist. 21 ) Stop telling people about me 22 ) you should have known by now not to bother me. He feigned being aware of narcissistic behaviors because of his mother. 17 votes, 11 comments. You can’t go there. “You’re gaining weight and won’t be able to fit your new clothes soon. Business, Economics, and Finance. aglimpseoftiger. One is Covert, Vulnerable and probably a Victim Narcissist, based on their habits and marrying the other Narc. Well, it's known children can be born psychopaths and exhibit symptoms as early as 3 years old. Aug 18, 2023, 1:52 AM PDT. You know I am your mother, you can humiliate me, disrespect me and I will still love you unconditionally. Even if you're sipping a freshly poured glass of wine, he'll hook onto that and use your “drinking problem” as a reason you can't have this discussion right now. ADMIN MOD. 12. He’d gone to therapy and read many books on the subject. They aren't trying to change. My NGrandma falls for pretty much every scam that You already know this, but I'm going to say this anyway - you don't owe them forgiveness. . They don't really like to learn new things. EMERGING CLUSTER OF SYMPTOMS THAT HAVE NO OTHER EXPLANATION All I could muster to the narcissist in my dear john letter when I broke up with him that wonderful New Year’s Eve, was “I DONT KNOW what’s WRONG!! But I just don’t feel like myself. Both my Ns are cerebral. “We can talk when you aren't intoxicated. So what you do to spot a covert narc is you go by how you feel when you're with them. “I’m so tired of doing everything for you. They say nasty horrible things about people that they then smile and fake nice with in-person. Including enablers. I just want to let you know that your life won't always be this way and as long as you are alive there's hope that things can change. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. One of the weird things narcissists do involves destroying your happiness and relaxing moments. hypersensitive/easily hurt, finds it really hard to deal with any trauma, feeling shame when rejected, feeling depressed/empty/useless, blaming others, feeling envious of others, etc. A man fixes his hair (stock Narcissists will project or deflect things back onto their s/o. They say this to control what you do, who you see, and where you go. It is a habit that is easy to pick up when you grow up with people like that. No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. No pure image posts. So they knowingly start dumb arguments online, the same way they do in person. The 20 Things People With Childhood Emotional Neglect Often Say (that healthy people don’t) I don’t want to intrude. Fuck that. It ends with me. I’m sorry. Covert narcs are hard to detect although, in hindsight there are red flags about their weird behaviour but because you are being love bombed, you make excuses for it. The child is maneuvered into a perverted situation. No linking to Facebook pages. He wanted you to care (I know you do obviously in reality) but you showed no care at all for his words, essentially communicating to him that his words are worthless (which they are) which is exactly what you needed to do. They prey on that vulnerable shit like lions attacking a baby gazelle. Until you have a boundary condition in mind ("I Which ten things make a narcissist miserable? When you are on to them. They would happily keep abusing you forever. “I don't know what you want me to say. A post in another thread got me thinking about how I knew that my n-mom was actually a narcissist. That there is only one way of seeing things, the narcissist's way, is accepted as completely normal and unquestionably valid. 1. But that being said, I admit I'm a lot more likely to assume it's lies. Dad wanted you to look great to his friends and colleagues. Because then you are the one who does not Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. Crypto Why the narcissist ignores you, in spite of everything you’ve said and done. Nov 29, 2023 · Narcissists all use the same types of phrases and words to gaslight their victims. ” This was some theory by Asshat Dobson that said if a child was rebellious (my sister wasn’t, she was just a preteen who wouldn’t cry when she was hit), you take away everything. ‘Countering’ phrases. I say, “Narcissistic People DESTROY PEOPLE”. Can happen for years, even decades so stop telling victims to "get over it You will recognize a mark a mile away- it’ll become your superpower. You deserve to be loved and heard and you have Gaslighting is serious and can have long-term effects. They never will be. What are some of the narcissists' favourite phrases/actions? From my experience and reading posts in this community, here are some of the common phrases/actions I've came across. “I’m going to have to punish you if you don’t do exactly what I say. You have to let yourself see that your relationship was not love. Feb 27, 2023 · 5. And, even if they did all those things and stopped abusing you at long last, you still wouldn't owe them forgiveness. It doesn’t matter to me. So even though I was never attracted to narcissists, they were ending up in my life. start lapping water from the toilet like a dog so they feel very weird. Anyway my mother read this book and began raging that she was going to “strip my sister of the garden of Eden. Narcs lack boundaries. For a full list of our rules/more information, click here. I'm willing to believe that a toxic person could have the same feelings-- that they would go from one abusive partner to another, believing that this time, things would be different. Significant others and friends are all welcome. You just clicked, you could talk for 12 hours straight. Recently my ex texted asking for a tax document after ghosting me for 1. I’m 34 f, and have low contact with my nmom. Bad attention would be something like: you being angry and yelling at them. A covert narcissist is a narcissistic type where the person is more reserved than the typical narcissist. Becoming aware of my mother's true nature, lack of empathy and constant manipulation tactics was a shocking revelation to say the least. I tried to address these things in the relationship, but I became deathly scared of confrontation with him. ago. Your trust, your loyalty, your ability to love and care, your likability, your discernment, your intelligence - these are all targeted by the narc. "You are a loony toon, just like your mom". I didn’t realize at the time how dysfunctional they are. 39 votes, 71 comments. My whole life they have been like this. Because being a mother or father is always going to be difficult and is never easy. She'd say it negatively, because she thought my father was a loser, lazy, never made enough money when they were married, always compared him to her coworkers' husbands. I've seen several self admitted narcissist, both on reddit and tiktok, admit that they troll online for supply. The idea that someone might be rejecting them never even crosses their mind. They shouldn’t say “I am doing this for you” and “I am giving you this”. The narcissist needs people in his close environment who break down because of his excessive demands, so that he can feel great and They say, “Hurt people, HURT people”. Here are over 100 gaslighting examples to give you an idea of the types of tactics they use to contradict a person’s reality. [Advice Request] 2 1. Mind bending torture. No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). I just thought all adults were like that when I was growing up. Observation. They constantly blameshift and gaslight their supply. A starter pack usually consists of a few images and/or…. Because the narcissist chose themselfs to be parent. Maybe get clear with yourself about what you expect from them when arguing. I had a nex who was Caribbean. I don't get how he logically knew it's a scam but still tried it "just in case". I felt I needed to say all this because I didn't to my narcissistic ex from before, and regretted it. This would include facial gestures, self-pitying tones of voice, and passive agressive comments. We offer… No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. I want to share an example of just how much I've been affected in the hopes that maybe it will help others see that it IS that bad. They are afraid that you will leave them because deep down, narcissists all have a fear of abandonment that they will project on to you. A sense of superiority places them above others. When you find outside help or a friend that doesn't go with their agenda. After he died, we found out he fell into a scam that supported a cause he vehemently denied he supported. Because there is a tendency I think to look at people who have some bad behaviors, who are maybe just rude or arrogant or entitled or selfish and label them as narcissist. You have more positivity and creativity to offer the world than they ever will, and they will only ever silence you, making you less confident, ambitious, and optimistic. I had a solid 6 months no contact and my life was great. You said no, or thought no, or whatever, so the narc has to "turn up the heat. I refused to call her names or say anything hurtful. Jan 23, 2024 · Here are examples of things a narcissistic person might say when employing triangulation: “It’s not just me – everybody thinks you’re really needy. The things people don't understand about narcissistic abuse: it's not one event that happened. When they can't manipulate you any more. That is attention too. “Stop blaming me for how you feel, even though I am guilty. Unmasking the Narcissist: A community dedicated to healing from narcissistic abuse. When he had to go home for the summer (per his student visa) he made me FaceTime through my entire apartment to show there weren’t men there, and I had to send time stamped photos to show I was where I said I was. If you deal with a narcissist go away as far as possible and no contact. So many people are going to understand you fully, but they'll nitpick and twist your words to get an angry response. You derive self-worth solely from your achievements. They aren't contrite. My mother was also narcissistic to a lesser degree than my MIL. It is a constant loop. Yes. While I wouldn't say all narcissists are not that intelligent (I've met both) I found it typical that they have very limited interests, usually one or two areas they can feel like experts. Yes, these people put their ego and self on the front row and have to be right because their ego and insecurity wouldn't let it otherwise. “You’re always so busy with your own life that you don’t even think about me. Dominate conversations because they believe they have the only worthwhile things to say. Telling things will bring rage, not telling has the same effect. I tend to have days where I wake up and forget all of the terrible things my Nex has said and done to me. It's a series of complex abuse that is happening on a very consistent, insidious level that the victim doesn't even know about. 18. 100 Signs And Traits Of Narcissism. Unlike the typical Grandiose, I use my tendencies to hide my true, brittle self. She went to a psychiatrist once because of her "lazy family" driving her nuts but when the conversation turned to what she didn't like (aka she might be suffering from something), she quit. The narcissists favorite gets to lay claim to a fragile illusion of unearned confidence fed to them as a reward by the narcissist. [Rant/Vent] Let’s do a thread where our narcs surprised us by response. Must be the center of attention, constantly seeking approval, acknowledgment, kudos, accolades, praise. You've never been a phone person, but 4 hour calls fly right by. I've found that narcissists are actually pretty easily manipulated and willing to believe flaccid excuses like these because they don't expect that others wouldn't like them. I’m lazy What’s the point? I don’t need anything. “Stop living in the past. …. She needs to know that she has rights too. This is a safe place for people who suffered, or are currently suffering… Then I discovered this vulnareble type, checked on google, realized I have been showing all the symptoms. It may not be realistic. After so many years of denial, I realized i’m a vulnerable narc. It could be a good comment, bad, left field, but what has your narc said that just took you off guard. Seek win-win solutions. Jun 7, 2023 · 6. 26 votes, 24 comments. When you are going to university, the nparent openly tells you 'in a subtle way' they always hated you. They think you're morally wrong, sure. When you stop crying and wanting them to stay. However, we are the sum of our experiences. Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. I send him a list of some of the horrible things he had done to me, raped me, gaslit me to hell. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. “I know I am the problem, but blaming you is so much easier. A covert narcissist does not mean they are discrete. Feelings (their feelings) are fact for the covert narc. In fact, you'd probably have better luck with the colour thing because despite only ever knowing something to be one way, opinions can change given enough logic and reasoning whereas for narcissists, the only thing that matters to them is being right, regardless of how stupid the thing they believe in is. Please add whatever you have used that worked for you. When you figure out you're better off without them. No contact, not cut off, breaks the spell and allows for the internal narrative to change. I don't know if "Karens" are dangerously narcissistic (there's a spectrum, I suppose), but they are, I can confidently say, self-preoccupied (narcissistic, if you will) and emotionally immature. All my points get ignored or treated as of having little value. 3. A narcissistic will love bomb you before they attack. Be real and honest about that. Our society is inherently narcissistic. This destabilizes you by making you question yourself. She sacrifices herself constantly but she doesn't do it for others; she does Covert narcissists are a different type of narcissist. They haven't apologized. Updated. r/raisedbynarcissists: This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which…. But put the blame on themselfs. Narcs say the damndest things. I don't have any advice for you. Calm and collected things to say to a Narc to shut them down. If i say half of these things am i narcissist? Or is this just one persons jaded perspective of what narcissism is? My literally says each one of these phraees about 8 times a day. Because in the end it always was their choice. "You know no one will accept you if you behave like this. I know this only self-diagnosis, because no 11. You showed them that you care, that he or she on your mind, that you crave their attention. Lindsay Dodgson. About a year ago I broke up with my narcissist. Which isn’t to say those things are useless, but, it’s like trying to put out a raging oil fire on a stove using an eye dropper with one drop of water coming out at a time. Extremely sneaky— definitely a covert narcissist. Because he/she got what he/she needed from you. Narcissists ruin who you are as a person. I don’t have anything to say. 5 years. A diamond cannot be formed without the massive Singular interests. I see her and say hi, when spend time with my sister (she’s my bestie. Things narcissistic mothers say and do: "If you say that again, I'm going to leave you, your sister, father" : using fear to control you. So, they're not motivated to work if that work doesn't have a payoff directly for them. The other is definitely Malignant, also Covert as well. “You are the problem, not me. GameStop Moderna Pfizer Johnson & Johnson AstraZeneca Walgreens Best Buy Novavax SpaceX Tesla. true And, thinking about it, I wouldn't say that all narcissists are lazy. [Question] I often find myself thinking that emotional abuse isn't that bad, or that if I changed my perspective it wouldn't affect me, and other things like that. You can say: “I understand that you may not see it this way, but I do and my feelings are valid. So true. They are not overly extroverts and are MUCH more difficult to spot than typical narcissists. Narcissist gaslighting phrases used to counter or oppose your memory and reality. After pointing out her hypocrisy in demanding I respond when she ignored me, she just accused me further with her endless lies. But they don't think you're lying. You felt so connected so quickly to them, with so much intimacy right away. Re-reading the list, they seem to be the narc reacting to your reasonable boundaries. To go no contact, we need to distance from anyone who is within the Hey Reddit, Navigating relationships with narcissists can be incredibly challenging. Very simply, say no. “Be quiet. Even if you had a long day or are sick, a narcissist may start a fight while you are trying to sleep. It just makes me wonder if maybe I’m also the bad guy. iz fy jk my bn hw ju vz bu jr