I don't know if he is using you for sex or not, but it is a valid thing to think given how he is treating you . He said not really and after asking him a lot of times , he said he feels bored with me because usually when we meet its just lunch or dinner or in our dorm where we just cuddle a bit. If you think there's life left in the relationship, suggest going out places that don't lead to sex afterwards, and see if he gets upset/grumpy/angry about it afterwards. he never officially asked me to be his girlfriend he just said we are together. I can't hear my phone ring. The next thing will be cheating. I woke up, to this fucking wall of a ( absolutely lovable ) man holding me like Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! I just found out my boyfriend is a cringe lord and now I can’t look at him. He’s not the same person i started dating; he’s a shell of himself and it’s one of the most devastating things i’ve ever witnessed. (Do what you want, but what I'd do is just wait maybe a week and if he's still like this, ask if he's attracted. I've been away from my boyfriend for a couple of weeks because I went to visit my parents out of state. But if you're uncomfortable, you're allowed to say no. I’m looking for outsider opinions as my bf and I disagree a lot on the subject and it’s making me pretty unhappy. ll kinds, however like 2 months ago I’ve started not wanting to do it often anymore and he doesn’t like it when he asks to see a pic of me naked and I say no he My boyfriend and I live 2 hours a part. Getting your partner purposefully angry just so you’re turned on but he’s unaware of it is a whole separate issue. I only found out because he's stupid. When we got together at first, he helped me get a job and stayed with him. Sometimes one person needs more, sometimes 2. My boyfriend also loves trading but he understands that he needs to work because it’s not always stable. so i’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and we’ve had our ups and downs. Not the asshole. My boyfriend (26M) and I (28F) have different financial backgrounds and approaches to money. He only wants to cuddle when he wants to cuddle. Don't expect honesty of someone like Pretty much the same as when any person is just using you -- the relationship feels unbalanced and unequal, with you giving more than you are receiving. I think my boyfriend is using again. My boyfriend wants to have sex 24/7. I can tell you how it ended in my case: He cheated on me, because he didn't really love me, but didn't wanna lose the benefits of being with me. I’ve been in more than one relationship where my partner chose to go back to the ex they were “over. I (24f) feel like my (32)m boyfriend doesn’t like me. First off, let me say that you're in a really unfair position. even if i do text him he'd ignore them. I (26F) and my bf (37M) is almost a year in our relationship. I’ve never even flirted with any men in the slightest. It would be different if you just spent time hanging out. A proper friendship is supposed to have a healthy balance of give-and-take. Will do my best to make things… Kick him out immediately, or force him to get a job. The kind of laziness that your boyfriend has is a personality trait that won’t go away. What I was going through was emasculation from my gf, she would make comments that werent exactly compliments and would sometimes make me feel pathetic. my (F21) boyfriend (M28) is BEYOND insecure. You're not TA. If he doesn't, maybe examine that behavior. OrangeHexagon90. He has already accused me of cheating and says he had a vivid dream on the encounter even though this is not true. But he definitely taking you for granted. I (A TransMale) feel like I’m losing my mind every day. We visit each other about once a month. I feel like if he was using me for papers he’d suggest getting married soon and push the relationship further. Marriage and kids would of course help him get citizenship. Then I was actually raped by a guy I trusted and pretty much stopped This message is reinforced a lot in media, and it leads to a somewhat selfish notion that if a person "truly" loves you, they will absorb your pain like a sponge and remain unaffected. • 3 yr. 4nofacenocase20. I’m 18f, and he’s 20m. I'm going to try and be as short as possible. Award. I (18F) am currently 24 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. I think my girlfriend is using me for money. Now, had I predicted the consequences, I may be able to move right now. We’ve been dating for 2 years on and off and we have a child together. Being in love and attracted to someone as a bisexual is (I think) the same as if you're straight. He has never been able to manage his money and has struggled with a gambling addiction which he is now on GamStop to help and this hasn’t What my issue is, is that other women dismiss me completely. Go to Drugs. Kick them out as soon as possible. 1. he can go three of four days without talking to me. My sanity slipping further and further away. It’s the ability to make money easily. This question just doesn’t make any sense. We used to have a thing where he’d pretend to rape me (as role-play) and I was pretty into it. When he came back like a week ago we spent the night at a hotel and then we spent the following day together, before he went back home, at about five pm. I’ve been with him for two years. I don't like living in paranoia that my shit is being monitored. He also enjoys spending time with you, which you can tell by the fact that sometimes he spends time with you, even though you’re not in the process of having sex. Then if he I feel like my boyfriend is just using me. he's not hiding me Hi reddit, using a throwaway because he also Reddit’s and I don’t want him to see. If he isn't willing to compromise, though, and doesn't want to respect your wishes, that's a big red flag. I found out my boyfriend baby trapped me. He’s always asking me if i’m talking to other men, sleeping with other men, watching porn, or sending nudes. You have a sexual relationship with him, he enjoys your sexual relationship. And obviously with consent. My boyfriend has been addicted to stimulants since he was a teen. I'm using a throwaway because he knows my real username. dats not healthy. He sounds kinda like a narcissist. I just have fear he doesn't really love my for myself just for my body. My friend came to me yesterday and told me BaxxyNut. My boyfriend courted me last year at first talaga I don’t have feelings pero he persued me and do everything to make me happy so I feel inlove. TL;DR; : This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, all things are bold. Sort by: Add a Comment. let me preface by saying I love my boyfriend very much. We met through a dating app and it is my first time in a relationship, while she had 2 relationships before. •. Compromising is one of the key components to a relationship. We broke up 5 years ago because of his addiction. If he's taking you out, then you're dating. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship… my boyfriend is starting to act super cringey. a month later he quit his job. Asking if I wanted to sleepover, etc. Tomorrow, we are seeing each other, from about lunch time to the evening. Hi All, This will be a bit long. I'm desperate because I know he would never admit to spying on me, but his words/actions lead me to think otherwise. I began looking at dresses and he said "oh you finally found some color" (I'm goth and he has told me he likes goth but wants me to expand my wardrobe). I told my bf a lot of the things you guys said and he apologized for getting mad at me and said he understood this wasn’t my fault when I had been calling them about it and trying to figure it out, so we’re good now! Thanks everyone for the advice and sweet comments and the few funny ones, really helped me out and I appreciate it ☺️. if he gets upset he will silent treatment me. It hurts. I actually ended up pregnant and got an abortion (no judgment please) as I wasn’t ready for kids. Reply. My (23) boyfriend (30) recently started a new job. ADMIN MOD. We met when he was on holiday in the country I live in. Though you should reconsider public sex unless you are sure you won't get caught and that it's clean etc. Trust your instincts and prioritize your well-being. True highschool sweethearts. He is always wanting to hug and kiss on me, always wants to touch me, tell me he loves me 16x a day or how he's so lucky to have me also 12x a day. This is me speaking from experience, because I (M) used to do this in one of my relationships, I would just talk back randomly - and generally respond the way your bf is responding. He also never gambles all of his money into one thing. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 6 months and I’m getting really tired of his behaviour towards me but I just can’t let go of him because of how much I love him, I always do whatever my boyfriend wants including s3x. It's like they don't even see me when I'm out with him. He moved to my farm and started working for me. 5. lied saying he was laid off. My boyfriend 18m gets mad at me 19f if i dont want to have sex with him, even tho we do almost every single day, ive been sick for a few days and so i havent wanted to, and when i tell him no he starts a fight saying i never do anything for him and that im “teasing him” by just sitting here existing, when i tell him we dont need to fuck every single day he says we do so he can feel Worried that my boyfriend is using again : r/Drugs. Initial 6 months: She lived in a different city when we met. decided he was going to willingly live in his car. He doesn’t really do anything for me because he’s too depressed (my love language is acts of service so this is tough), he’s hardly present at all in the relationship. Being attracted (and I use this to mean physically, emotionally, romantically, etc) to both sexes doesn't mean I feel the need to have anything going with both sexes. About a year ago, she started reaching out again. My boyfriend needed to replace his 15-year-old car, so last week we sat down his dad (who works in finance), to review his spending. He did ask if I’d at least consider keeping it as he was ready but I Whether it’s having sex, giving head, fingering, blow jobs you name it. This is my take on it. Dating is hard, and I genuinely thought I had found my person. So we see each other more often. I (25F) and my boyfriend (27M) have recently decided to move in together me being there a couple days a week until I finish my studies and him there all the time, and I’m noticing some cracks financially. And pulling my butt to be up against his crotch, and then he gets on top of me and tries pulling my pants down or he gets in between my legs. From what he told me, he started wondering a few years ago about his sexual orientation and thought he might be gay. My boyfriend basically rapes me, apologizes and then does it again. I, (26m) recently made the mistake of laying down next to my boyfriend for a nap. Not for opinions, not for relationship advice, and not for preaching. I do have to say based on what you've written this is just a physical relationship on his part. Recently I was raped at a party and because of this I told my boyfriend a few days before the soon to be hangout that I do not want to have sex for a while. He is from Dominican Republic… It seems like your relationship has been fizzling out since you moved back and your BF doesn’t want to put in the effort to make it work or try to get to the bottom of things. From the way you've described it, it's eminently possible. He knows i have mental illness problems. • 5 days ago. I haven’t insisted on looking at his debit card statements before because I figured that he is a grown man and we aren Hi, I haven’t posted on here before and I’m on mobile so please excuse any weird formatting :) Me and my boyfriend moved in together last year, he has struggled with heroin use in the past but was clean again when we got together (we’ve been on and off for a couple of years and known each other for longer). I feel taken advantage of financially, and up until recently feel like I haven't been heard. (I am also a person in general who does not like people constantly paying for things for me, so I always offer to pay for at least my portion when I’m out with anyone. he loves me unconditionally and he does so much for me but i continue finding myself getting super I (F29) am in a relationship with my boyfriend (M29) who I love very much. Cliffy73. My concerns stem from a pattern of some of his other behaviors. so i invited him to my parents. And unti unti ko nararamdaman na he is just using me for my money and my connections. I'll stand up to go get a drink or go to the bathroom at a bar, and one will just slide right into my seat. . I think he will not be offended if he understands this anxiety does not come from the idea that he is a person that would cheat but from the idea that you are not a person worth being faithful to. Talk to him about how you feel and that you'd like to scale it back to once a day or however often you want it. If he is otherwise respectful of you and treats you well, that's a good thing. Hello, my (F 25) current boyfriend (M 25) of over 5 months, is too feminine for me. So to get hit with “I’m not sure I will ever be over her and the fact that she ruined marriage for me,” is extremely hard. the title pretty much says it all. He went back and started saving to visit, a fire happened at his old house (verified) and so he ended up staying when he came back, as he has a house here. Thanks everyone for the help. My boyfriend (23) just admitted he was using me, what do I do? UPDATE: I talked with him and he admitted he used to use me but now he loves me and he said some other things that I didnt know about. In a good relationship, friendship, whatever, both people are giving what they want to give without coercion and both feel adequately rewarded for it. Is my boyfriend just using me? So me (21F) and my boyfriend (22M) have been dating for 2 years. we've discussed about marriage and future plans and all but he tends to be not responsive at all. texting is 90% of the time sexting. So…. We're in a long distance relationship and we've only been physically together for about 2 months in total out of the 2 years we've been dating. He's not arrogant about it, at all, but he's just an incredibly smart man. It's likely not your body, it could easily be a death in the family, an existential crisis, or something else of his in his more personal life he's just not telling you about. Either way, I wouldn't continue being in a relationship with someone who treats me that way. Instead of communicating it seems like he’s just pushing you away. Today he looked upset and bored when he came to meet me in my dorm. This week he has been training with someone who I consider a friend. Sure everyone likes a good deal or looking around the clearance section but this is ten times worse. He is always with me. And, I'm freaked out and rethinking our relationship. He’s an incredibly kind A place to get personal things off your chest. Eventually I go into my bedroom where my phone is charging and I see my boyfriend (of 6 years) has called me 6 times in the last 15 minutes. I’ve been with my boyfriend (19M) since I was a freshman and he was a sophomore. He has a math tattoo on his back. My boyfriend has always been very touchy from the start and while I was still pretty innocent before dating him and was still a virgin, he would mostly start everything. Now he is living in my city. No problem there. I think my boyfriend is using me. true. 4. Just talk to him about it but be more direct to what you want. I think my friend is using me. Demand better. Life has definitely improved since we became an item, but there are still some issues that we have that we can't seem to resolve . It’s not like he automatically expects me to pay, I always insist. he never buys me presents for special occasions or organises anything. What do I do? TL;DR: My relationship of 4 years has been struggling ever since me and my boyfriend have moved in together 3 years ago. You might find that he feels differently. ” I'm getting really really tired of it. i love him and i love to be with him but he’s changed so much he isn’t the same guy i fell in love with. He says I cheated on him and he already forgave me for it. Unfortunately , I am not the brightest. Even if you have grown on him now, chances are that he's still using you, those things aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. His car had 300k miles and stopped running, so he bought a truck which wasn’t exactly an investment in the farm but was good choice for the farm. He doesn’t engage in That shows that he has respect for the arrangement of what "borrowing" actually means. He cares about me and i think i can accept it. He told me he taught himself a new coding language in an afternoon, just the other day, and shared the code with me and I had no fucking idea what any of it meant. he only complains. If you're the one doing all the giving and they're doing all the taking, that's an unsustainable relationship. The new boyfriend is very handsome, charming but hasn’t had a job since we met. My (23F) FIL (70M?) spanked me, and my husband (30M) thinks it's not a big deal and thinks it's "kind of funny". My boyfriend is so cheap that it’s literally a turn off. ) Nta. I'm so fed up with my current group of friends, hell it seems to me that every supposed friend I've ever had seems to act My current bf and I met by being roommates, we were friends first and a large part of how he "got me" was by being really friendly, helpful, nice and interested in my life. People: Me is "Me" (22m), bf is "Bf" (23m) So Me and Bf Is my boyfriend using me? I (25 f) met my boyfriend (24 m) on vacation while he was here in the states on a work visa. When I got back, he avoided seeing me in the morning, saying he didn't trust himself around me during Ramadan ( a month where muslims abstain from food and sex from sunrise to sunset), fearing that anything sexual could break our fasts My boyfriend is one of the most brilliant people I know. It sounds like your boyfriend does not truly appreciate you for the person you are. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! My bf (21M) doesn't like the idea of me using a vibrator (18f) My bf and I have been living together for almost a year and have great regular sex. I went to al anon as both of my parents were alcoholics and I found the people there to be so supportive as they were all living the same experience as me. he cheats on me constantly and just doesn’t care he I don't think he is just using you for sex. ago. Idk I need some help with discernment. And how he can best play his part to your needs. Please feel free to ask me any questions. It's really normal to want to have sex every time you're with your partner. I wouldn't worry about it or ask too soon. That said, it's important that you communicate how you're feeling, too. We’ve been together 4 years and had lots of rough patches but generally were very happy with each other for some background info. Enjoying it when you’re degraded is one thing. 13M subscribers in the relationship_advice community. 1: they clearly never established that boundary so he didn't do anything he was told not to. So my boyfriend and I were long distance for like four months. My boyfriend is the cheapest person I’ve ever known. What you need in this relationship. He is using you and not even caring. I tell him about it of course. If he dismisses or gets angry, it's a red flag. Only thing is it's very difficult for me to reach orgasm with ''normal'' mean's. 2. But then he said he doesn't want to visit because he's tired of the driving. He's always great to hangout with and a great conversationalist. It isn't wrong to talk about it and lay out these things. We can’t cuddle in bed without him rubbing my butt. That just should like cheated on me or he currently is. So to preface, we’re pretty young. • 2 yr. I have been more than faithful to him. I don't know it makes me kinda suspicious of him to be honest. We do NOT promote drug use; - Accept, for better and or worse, that licit & illicit drug use is part of our world and choose to work to minimize its harmful effects rather than simply ignore or condemn them; - Utilize evidence-based, feasible, and cost-effective I (28F) recently found out that my boyfriend (26M) has been using Grindr from time to time for the last five years. If monogamy is what you're into then that's what you do. If he isn’t at work, eating, or playing video games, he wants to have sex. You two need to sit down and have a honest discussion about how your feeling. Hoping I can receive some harsh outside advice that will wake me up to the reality of what is possibly in front of me. And how I couldn't handle it emotionally anymore. We had previously been really good friends, but then she kind of dipped off the face of the earth with covid and i did too. It's like hearing a kid tell the same story over and over Yes. But that could just be me reading too much into it. 23 votes, 21 comments. he’s never happy. My boyfriend loves me for who I am but I’m really paranoid he only wants me for my body, I feel like I’m obligated to sexualize myself just so I don’t lose him, I am hyper sexual due to past trauma and I feel like all my relationships My boyfriend is using me as a teddy bear right now and I cannot escape. Some backstory: I (19m) started sating my bf (20m) in college. However, this past month, I recently got diagnosed with AD HD at Mannerisms depends what he does but you should talk to him about it . r/Drugs. As harsh as it sounds, if someone did they would be able to tell you how beautiful you are etc as opposed to telling you how other girls are beautiful. My boyfriend never raped me or touching me without permission. Discuss these feelings with him. An example from tonight: I'm in the kitchen, doing dishes, singing along to some song I have playing in the living room. He initially declines a few times, but I end up insisting, and paying. Are you sure you want to continue a relationship with this man? For me all relationships need to be based on trust and respect and with addicts trust is super iffy at the best of times. I am 27M and have been dating a girl 27F for almost 2 years now. Do better for your kids. Vote. When we are going to hangout he says “I just wanna have a fun time” not “build memories or anything like that” he doesn’t care to talk to me unless it benefits him. Right fucking in front of me. Basically, your past the " honeymoon" portion of the relationship where it's new and exciting and moved into the "stuck in a rut" boring day to day. Your feelings are valid, and it's essential to communicate your concerns with your partner. Maybe it was his Adderall. It’s not trading that he likes. We got back together about a year ago because he had changed for the better. He came into my life 6 months ago and I have never felt so loved and taken care of. Im 19F and she’s 18F. I am not sure whatever it was, I asked him if it was because of me. You deserve better. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 9 months now. I finally gave an ultimatum: get a stable job or I walk. Given that he is paying you back promptly, I think he should respond pretty well to that boundary. he can go a week without seeing me. I went to art 2. But what’s funny is that he’s extremely wealthy. Supports me, understand my behaviors/fellings. He is trying to guilt and manipulate you into having sex with him, though. 10. 2: him saying he "knew" it was disrespectful and wrong isn't exactly clear, considering he was most likely saying he understands why she thinks that and she is telling it in the past tense in an incorrect way. 3. He’s manipulating me(f 23yrs) and my boyfriend(m 24yrs) has been together for 9 months. I have a farm and recently went through a divorce. he has a very very busy schedule and also has exams coming up so i don't talk to him much either but he can go on for weeks without even a single text message or a call. I mean you’re his gf and best friend. He needs to realize kids are expensive and you need money. Or we'll be shopping, I'll get a disdainful once over and they start flirting with him. He is a wonderful human being and I am so blessed to have him. He started watching gay porn occasionally and exchanging pictures on Grindr. After about 10-15 minutes we had made it to the underwear section and mentioned how I'll take another 3 hours in this section (we've been in there less than 25 minutes and already looked My (33f) boyfriend (27m) is over affectionate and it's driving me crazy! love him I really do, but it's constant to the point i get annoyed. Talk about it with him instead of instigating it for the sake of your own pleasure while he’s obviously unknowingly mad. ze zj mt ls lv ok be ac ap gr