Invalidating friend reddit

Last UpdatedMarch 5, 2024

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Your friend who's in a wheelchair probably isn't the best person to complain to about your soreness after leg day. But you are not invalidating either your or their asexuality by having a crush. I no longer bring up anything personal or important with him. However, it also seems like you have a lot of work to do (as you acknowledge) before you could begin to answer the real questions. There’s a difference between being civil and opinionated versus invalidating people and being opinionated. at least he has realistic men he wants to look like, but he shouldnt go on T if he doesn't want bottom growth considering its like the 1st physical effect that happens and voice deepening is permanent. We are baby and childless friendly. I am trying to pursue art therapy as a future career and he straight up told me I would be awful at it since I'm so "emotionless and invalidating" Even though he says all these things he continues to use me as his own personal therapist all i get all day are texts about his problems and complaints Like why do you keep using Business, Economics, and Finance. 1. i'd advise him not to go on T if u can. And she literally treats me so well, is always supporting me and buying me So me and my friend have fun nicknames for each other, mine being “kitten” and hers being “leprechaun”. This is a peer support community for those who have undergone prolonged trauma and came out the other side alive and kicking, but with wounds that need tending. Reply. I could've been more tactful. I asked what happened and she said he made a school shooting joke. My friend’s way of doing it isn’t with as much bad intentions, she probably thinks she’s doing it for the best, but I’d be lying if I say it doesn’t make me feel triggered. Communicating bounderies to a (otherwise) good enough friend about the way they talk about your trauma is a better option. This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or… Trans people and especially trans feminine people are expressly welcome here. Karma is a bitch! And I’m willing to bet ex friend is just as degrading to her husband as he is to her. You need to realize that you’re being very narrow minded in your reasoning. The relationship is very limited. Sep 20, 2023 · Feeling invalidated by my best friend. I told her I only like men and she seems like she’s struggling that I don’t love her the same. “Nobody is neurotypical” is the invalidating part and actually incorrect because I think neurotypical is a classification and a subset of folks within the spectrum. You can always state your opinion without invalidating someone. I don't have any friends right now, just a few acquaintances like that. She could have chosen to walk away and calm down and try to explain her frustration in a kind way - but she didn’t, surprising given how easy she thinks making “choices” is. So to me, the difference between invalidation and traumatic invalidation is the person receiving it. I never felt loved by these girls they were just using me. Saying afterwards "You can't expect her to bounce back right when she almost killed herself. However, my friend refused to believe me and continued to insist, to both me and our families, that I had attempted to trap her in the room. We met because my friend Oliva (17f) shares a class with him and they are friends. The black and white think (they're either good or bad friends!) isn't helpfull for building relationships. Crypto May 8, 2023 · My bff started invalidating me and i put up with it for so many years until all the things we had in common slowly started failing and dropping and eventually we had no common things to talk about anymore. Everyone is on a spectrum… true, but your friend is using it to invalidate. Wanting two kids isnt a bad thing, but your reasoning for it is off. I don't know if I will ever find my other half. Also in the original post the majority of commenters were being supportive and telling him not wanting to change his name isn't any of his friends business. Because they don't understand. My bff started invalidating me and i put up with it for so many years until all the things we had in common slowly started failing and dropping and eventually we had no common things to talk about anymore. You may have to carefully examine your life for those stories of abuse that best exemplifies your abuse, and distill them out to an easy-to-tell story. ' . She feels alone and scared, especially after you invalidated her feelings when you removed her from the competition that she also worked hard for. I shared my thoughts and told them how I'd like to get professionally diagnosed. Realizing that you can feel romantic attraction for multiple people has very little to do with polyamory. We've been friends for over 10 years and I was friends with him before his transition too. As long as you don’t actually pressure them into a relationship they don’t want (not saying you would just that that’s what invalidating their sexuality could look like). I (24F) am not interested in having children. Then sometime randomly she just always became busy or would make new plans over our plans. Let him know. Some demisexuals may feel very close to asexuality and experience attraction to extremely few people in their entire lifetimes, and each may take a very long time to develop, while others may find attraction develops more frequently and often find themselves crushing on their friends. GameStop Moderna Pfizer Johnson & Johnson AstraZeneca Walgreens Best Buy Novavax SpaceX Tesla. I mean she is absolutely beautiful, classy, successful and kind and I adore her. I have a trans friend, we'll call him A (16TM) and me, B (16NB AFAB). Sep 18, 2022 · A friend is invalidating. My relationship has been on the rocks for a year with no possible fix or mend it seems and I've been very broken about it for a long time. •. Invalidating friend. This is also the very same reason why I decided to stay away from my friends because their comments is exactly as yours; keep invalidating what I said, I'm just self-pitying myself, I haven't done my best, I'm being weak-hearted, etc. It’s an invalidating belief, that can turn into prejudice when expressed towards asexuals since it boils down to them believing asexuals are confused about their identity since they do not believe a sex drive can be completely Funny story though, cousin ended up cussing ex friend out and didn’t even show up to the wedding. During the conversation (over text), they kept saying things like 'isn't it all imaginary though?' and 'that can't be real. I (17f) have been going out on dates with Kyle (18m) for three weeks. Stop trying to explain away bosses behavior. Me and my best friend recently became friends again after not talking for about a year because she was dating a guy who was controlling and didn't want her spending time with anyone else, besides him. 12M subscribers in the relationship_advice community. I don't know how you can consider that a friend when they say things like this to your partner add on: also there is no right or wrong way to ''do DID/OSDD'' Lately, I have been feeling myself become toxic and invalidating. Go to CPTSD. cismanthroaway. People of all genders are welcome; feminist cred appreciated. Karma played out beautifully there. OPs friends belief is invalidating of asexuals But it’s not homophobia, because it’s unrelated to homosexuals. If you intend on using this post to debate the realness of the disorder itself or my friends diagnosis, you can show yourself out the door. Agree People with very good intentions can be invalidating as hell. My friend and I have been friends for about a decade. He isn't worried about YOUR feelings. Award. Get help from others if he won't back off. Most of my friends are a part of the LGBTQ community in some way, but are all very sexual people. You don't need to be polite or worry about his feelings. I (21F) have a trans friend (21NB) who will be getting top surgery soon. Friend 2 just sounds like an attention seeking idiot, you shouldn't be friends with friend 2 because they are cringe. Shaming women's choices and invalidating the perspectives of other women is not allowed here. We got stuck trying to come up with a problem at first, so Oliver asked Dylan to think about one of his issues, to which he just shrugged. As long as they are honestly trying and actively listening to you, keep talking to them. Your obese friend doesn't want to hear about how you gained two pounds over the holidays. I just saw it and thought Taylor's friends are the epitome of gatekeeping. I've had to put moat like boundaries up because it just was required to stabilize. But still, mutual friend just kept scolding me for saying that. Get app Get the Reddit app Get the Reddit app For the broken, malfunctioning, pained people of the world and their friends/family. sounds like "get your shit together" while I'm already at my limit. It’s a huge secret… A) don't stay with people who invalidate you're feelings to the point you KNOW it's doing that to you. Friend 2 should honestly should be exposed and shamed because if you actually think about it is really scummy to pretend you have a disability you dont have. source. No one is entitled to your time, your body, your mind, or your heart. If he doesn't listen, stand up for yourself and stand your ground. I’ve always seen my upbringing as normal. long story short, we got into a argument of everyone telling me that I was invalidating my friend’s feelings. It’s also possible to be grey ace/aro or demi ace/aro. Three months into our friendship she (33, f) told me she has deep feelings for me. My past "friends" have been similar, and I never knew any better, and have become deeply hurt when they became meanly passive aggressive with me. Recently she shared with me he made her uncomfortable. Last year my best friend (now maybe ex best friend) and I would do trivia every week. They can freak out and drop the friendship or they will say "Okay, I'm flattered. I have a friend who’s finished her UC apps and a couple supplemental essays for the Jan deadline, but when me or my other friend say we’re super behind, she’ll start talking about how behind she is also. Haven't heard from him in a week again. While those 3 albums are my top 3 as well, I would never describe madonnas music as “tacky commercial stuff”… even her most commercial songs attempt to do/say something. Respect other life choices. They would invalidate me, I would lash out My friend has made it clear to me that he thinks im a bad person. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or… Then perhaps work on distancing yourself emotionally from the invalidating people. After I bring up feelings I have about something done or said by him that caused hurt, broke my trust, etc, the number one tactic of invalidating me is: LOVE BOMBING ME-- being extremely affectionate, using sex, whispering sweet nothings, flattering statements, doing nice things for me, taking th trash out, etc, with the same goal as My parents keep invalidating my experiences with racism in addition to the lack of support from friends Rant This is a clusterf*** of issues but I'm dealing with harassment and discrimination at work and as a first-gen, older sister biracial/mixed who's trying to make it in primarily white spaces, I'm not receiving any resources for support. Feeling invalidated by my best friend. 934K subscribers in the raisedbynarcissists community. My friends often seem to quiz me on autism like they don’t believe I’m autistic. 205K subscribers in the asexuality community. Traumatic Emotional Invalidation from Parents. They deserve each His self loathing is fueled when he isolates himself and convinces himself he isn't worth anything. My 2 friends and I are in our 20s, ‘Kate’ came from a background where her parents were, as she described as “useless… Two friends, Oliver and Dylan (24M, 22M) and I(21F) were doing an assignment where we basically had to take one of our personal problems or struggles and monetize its solution for a class. Asexuality is a sexual orientation where a person doesn't experience sexual… My friend told me that my views are completely unacceptable, morally deficient, and invalidating to that particular group of people, regardless of the fact that I am confused about the viewpoint in question and genuinely making the attempt to understand something completely foreign to me. A friend is invalidating. We have a choir class together where despite our chosen identities, we're both altos. I can’t differentiate whether my feelings on this matter have been correct or… It's easier this way. A lot of women tend to get really annoyed when men who are supposed to be strictly friends indicate they are attracted. ' May 8, 2023 · My bff started invalidating me and i put up with it for so many years until all the things we had in common slowly started failing and dropping and eventually we had no common things to talk about anymore. at first I thought I was in the right but now I’ve been worrying I was being a big asshole. This is just a little rant. Someone being gender nonconforming (anything on the spectrum other then the hegemonic) does NOT make them a conscious, mindful, or kind human being automatically. Got pain? This is the place to be. 161 votes, 26 comments. Invalidating. I understand completely. Sometimes what your friend needs is a simple "Yeah wow that is really annoying. I never had a real loving Girl friend. I’ve expressed that I’m asexual casually when it’s natural in conversation (more explicitly to some) and that gender doesn’t matter to me in a partner/if I wasn’t dating my male partner I could easily see myself with anyone whose My partner’s best friend and his wife (let’s call her Fiona) have been our friends for over 5 years now. And that logic works in the inverse too: asexuals can have sex and still be asexual (there's a whole subgroup of asexuals who are sex-positive), I had a lesbian friend and a gay-man friend in college who slept together (they were best friends and on several different types of drugs) and when they woke up in the same bed, they were still gay Your best friend may not be the best person to advise you on this. I've been watching all my friends get married and have babies and my goal was to be married by 27 because I wanted my husband as just my husband for a few years but have my first kid by 30 because pregnancies and births are difficult in my family medically. r/CPTSD. I always felt love from my parents and they were always around. Friend invalidating my choice to be child-free. My (ex)friend keeps misgendering and invalidating me Need Advice So I’m genderfuild and I came out to my friend recently i thought she was a safe space since she’s also in the community, but her reaction hurt me a lot she just straight up called me a liar and told me to get over it. Bitching, complaining, whining, and otherwise venting about your condition is encouraged. I like hanging out with them but whenever I mention my autism they… 12 votes, 12 comments. We are housewife and working woman friendly. This made her have even less bridesmaids, which she was already self conscious about. true. It's all a spectrum. AITA? Edit: a reason my friend didn’t want to clean their room is because they felt mentally drained, if that affects anyone’s judgement. Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is rarely discussed in public forums, even though healthy connection to others is an integral part of healing. The only ones that have ever given me a chance have always used me for whatever reason. 5. 57 votes, 26 comments. My long-time boyfriend shares these same opinions, and we are very much looking forward to the life we will lead together without having to worry about Before I begin, this post discusses Dissociative Identity Disorder. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. Yesterday I told one of my closest friends about my suspicion that I have DID. I wasn’t super close to them but we were on good terms. Stop trying to make the situation better or solve the problem. It's not a ''friends'' place to say things like that, even when they are a trained psychologist and that was clearly meant to be invalidating and hurtful. " They want the fun friend, helpful family member, competent whatever back, and they're mostly just peeved that you have changed. You are completely invalidating her feelings and situation, she is totally justified in being frustrated that you are not being a supportive friend. I firmly believe this to be a real disorder and it is medically recognized as such. But if they dismiss you, then it is time to return the favor. It is hard to feel validated by others in this culture and most people are defensive and/or combative. I have ADHD diagnosed on paper if they doubt they can just suck my pipis. Your friend is not being friendly if they are invalidating them and being offended by them; your friend is being narcissistic and a “pick-me” ENBY. Despite apologizing for the misunderstanding and clarifying the landlady's advice, my attempts to reconcile were futile. The first time this happened she got invited to this event and cancelled our plans last minute. It's like it's against the code of friendship to admit that. Jan 23, 2022 · You can always state your opinion without invalidating someone. If someone's in a relatively good So I do not consider him a friend. I have had mental health problems since teenage and also a very traumatic childhood but my best friend of 13 years invalidates or belittles my pain around these issues. Men on the other hand can go either way. So in this case green flag. Like you said, you've been through this your whole life this isn't even your gut instinct telling you at this point. On Snapchat her name was displayed as “Leprechaun ️😩🥵🥵😼😽” On one particular day she had really gotten on my nerves so I simply changed her name back to “Stephanie”. Thankfully I don’t have to be around her all that much as she isn’t anywhere near me, but I’d have a hard time staying friends with her if she was and That guy being able to hold 7 close friendships with women is a very green flag! After seeing this discourse over and over my conclusion is if a man has one close woman (best) friend it’s a red flag but if a man has a bunch of women friends or a mix it’s a green flag. When I first met Fiona I felt very uncomfortable, like I didn’t really have much in common with her, and she only talked about herself. I’ve never had a desire to be around any kids, let alone have my own. ' AITA for invalidating my friends feelings over my new relationship. If you try and force them to be best friends, they’ll probably just resent you and each other. Green flag. That’s actually moronic… what they said. I was going through trauma therapy and had a lot of fatigue due to depression and anxiety. But I’ve recently connected the dots. Jan 9, 2024 · Invalidating friend. I was diagnosed with ADHD-PI a few years ago and although medication has helped, I still have a long way to go in developing coping strategies and…. Your poor friend doesn't want to hear about about your stock portfolio losing $10k in one day because Apple stock took a hit. Throughout my childhood I would have arguments with my parents always resulting in me being the bad guy. I’m a procrastinator, and I’m insanely behind on college apps. I don't argue with people about it anyway. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. anyways no, you didnt invalidate his concerns. Green. Stop by the chat and say hi! OOP is doing the friend equivalent of “look what you made me do” when she blames her friend sharing her experience of sexual abuse for blowing up at her. I have more sympathy for friend 1 and 3, even though it is still annoying. “I think the rest of her music varies from good to extremely tacky commercial stuff” Ahhh I think I might be on your friends side. I like to make friends with people who don't typically piss me off in the first place to avoid conflict, but if there is conflict, I pay attention to if they Invalidation is one of the most damaging forms of emotional abuse and can make the recipient feel like they’re going crazy! What’s scary, it can be one of the most subtle and unintentional abuses. I responded to his text "Ugh, aight, suit yourself" He accused me of invalidating his feelings, men in society can't express themselves, etc. He's making you uncomfortable. Additionally, I’m closer to my best friends than I’ll ever be with my biological brother. I completely agree with everything you've said though. bg bw an dl uu bb qu ar qz zv